Acceptance of what has happened is the first step
to overcoming the consequences
to overcoming the consequences
of any misfortune.
William James
“If I had just gotten the news you did, I’d be on my knees praying every night,” my friend said as we talked about the fact that my biopsy had confirmed a diagnosis of cancer. “I have been praying a lot lately,” I responded, “but mostly for acceptance and the strength to handle whatever comes.” I sensed that he was somewhat baffled by my reply. To be honest, so was I, to some extent. It is certainly in my religious make-up to believe that if I would just ask God with the right amount of humility and devotion, he would make this cancer nightmare go away. However, this no longer fits with my current view of all things spiritual.
My mind, ever since the cancer diagnosis, has been busy trying to sort out a plan for getting around the painful anxiety that is bound to worsen. Praying to God to spare me this ordeal has been top on the list of things to do. In my heart, however, I hear the recent quote of Eckhart Tolle, “The world is not here to make you happy, it is here to wake you up,” as well as the words of Jesus, “Pick up your cross and follow me,” and the wisdom of Nisagardatta Maharaj “Accept life as it comes and you will find it a blessing.”
That‘s where I want to be; right smack in the middle of the peace that comes from surrendering to whatever life throws my way. However, I find that my reflexive response to a crisis is to reach for the old tools of denial, anger, depression, and bargaining. These are well worn and within easy reach. Acceptance, on the other hand, feels awkward due to lack of use, and there is a gnawing sense that if I’m not careful with it I could hurt myself.
All of this takes me back to my prayers. Sure, it would be miraculous to have an illness cured, a suffering taken away or a burden lifted. But perhaps the true miracle is to experience the hand of God in whatever we are given. Real peace comes not from the absence of life’s upheavals, but by experiencing them at very core of the true self.
This is not to say that I have developed a fearless, “bring it on” attitude. To the contrary, I’m a long standing member of the “be careful what you ask for” club. Nor have I entered into a state of complete flow where my moods no longer ride the rough and tumble waves of uncertainty. No, I’m still an ocean of emotions, and the pending trips into chemotherapy and radiation treatments are my own personal tsunami. But in the depth of my heart, I believe my prayer for strength and acceptance will be answered, and that I need only turn down the noise of resistance to hear that answer clearly.
William James
“If I had just gotten the news you did, I’d be on my knees praying every night,” my friend said as we talked about the fact that my biopsy had confirmed a diagnosis of cancer. “I have been praying a lot lately,” I responded, “but mostly for acceptance and the strength to handle whatever comes.” I sensed that he was somewhat baffled by my reply. To be honest, so was I, to some extent. It is certainly in my religious make-up to believe that if I would just ask God with the right amount of humility and devotion, he would make this cancer nightmare go away. However, this no longer fits with my current view of all things spiritual.
My mind, ever since the cancer diagnosis, has been busy trying to sort out a plan for getting around the painful anxiety that is bound to worsen. Praying to God to spare me this ordeal has been top on the list of things to do. In my heart, however, I hear the recent quote of Eckhart Tolle, “The world is not here to make you happy, it is here to wake you up,” as well as the words of Jesus, “Pick up your cross and follow me,” and the wisdom of Nisagardatta Maharaj “Accept life as it comes and you will find it a blessing.”
That‘s where I want to be; right smack in the middle of the peace that comes from surrendering to whatever life throws my way. However, I find that my reflexive response to a crisis is to reach for the old tools of denial, anger, depression, and bargaining. These are well worn and within easy reach. Acceptance, on the other hand, feels awkward due to lack of use, and there is a gnawing sense that if I’m not careful with it I could hurt myself.
All of this takes me back to my prayers. Sure, it would be miraculous to have an illness cured, a suffering taken away or a burden lifted. But perhaps the true miracle is to experience the hand of God in whatever we are given. Real peace comes not from the absence of life’s upheavals, but by experiencing them at very core of the true self.
This is not to say that I have developed a fearless, “bring it on” attitude. To the contrary, I’m a long standing member of the “be careful what you ask for” club. Nor have I entered into a state of complete flow where my moods no longer ride the rough and tumble waves of uncertainty. No, I’m still an ocean of emotions, and the pending trips into chemotherapy and radiation treatments are my own personal tsunami. But in the depth of my heart, I believe my prayer for strength and acceptance will be answered, and that I need only turn down the noise of resistance to hear that answer clearly.
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